HOW CAN I RECOGNIZE ABUSE?

It is not surprising that many people do not recognize when they are in an abusive relationship. The tactics used by abusers can be subtle and may not require physical abuse to maintain control over their victims. Abuse comes in many forms from physical, emotional, economic and/or sexual. The following list provides examples of abusive behaviors:

Does he/she?

Check Mark Monitor your phone calls? Follow you?
Check Mark Continuously harass you at work either by telephone fax or e-mail?
Check Mark Take your money, withhold money, make you ask for money, or make you account for the money you spend?
Check Mark Hit, slap, punch, bite, kick, pull your hair, or spit on you?
Check Mark Control who you see for friends, family or co-workers…. when and where?
Check Mark Threaten to hurt you, your family members or pets?
Check Mark Threaten to take the children from you?
Check Mark Threaten to expose that you are gay to family members, your boss, or the community?
Check Mark Destroy those possessions and property which he/she knows you treasure?
Check Mark Pressure you into dropping charges or vacate the restraining order?
Check Mark Tell you that they can't live without you or that you will never belong to anyone else?
Check Mark Make comments intended to degrade you by comparing you with others/ex-partners?
Check Mark Tell you what you can and cannot wear?
Check Mark Drive recklessly with you and/or your children in the car during or after an argument?
Check Mark Block your exit during an argument?
Check Mark Threaten that if you file charges he/she may lose their job which will ultimately effect insurance and child support payments?
Check Mark Make non-verbal gestures intended to intimidate you? (i.e. place hands around their neck indicating if you do not comply they will choke you)
Check Mark Expose you to sexually transmitted diseases so you will be considered "damaged goods?"
Check Mark Force you to perform sexual acts against your will?
Check Mark If he is in counseling, does he use that against you in order to keep you in the relationship?